The shooting and crossing ones were useful, but the set-piece tutorials were a bloody revelation, finally letting average gamers into an arcane world of penalty-taking confidence. Last year, however, the Fifa development team at EA Sports finally realised something had to be done, so they introduced Skill Games, a selection of mini-challenges designed to teach you how to use various in-game moves and systems. And penalties? The controls seemed so sensitive I always ended up tapping most of mine limply down the middle, like Gareth Southgate at Euro 96 – over and over again. Most of the time, I just opt for a short pass. My free kick attempts will tend to go anywhere – row Z, out for a throw in, into another game – rather than the goal. That's because, for many, scoring from a set-piece in Fifa is a sort of halcyon moment, as rare, magical and incomprehensible as falling in love at first sight, or viewing a meteor shower. In the Fifa series, though, they often invoke indifference or even dread. In the real game these words are likely to be greeted with expectant joy from supporters and players on the right side of the decision.
